Coping With The Grief After Loss of a Loved One.
Coping With The Grief After Your Loss
The Stages of Grieving Your Loss
When someone passes away whether unexpectedly or from old age, those left behind have to deal with the grief and this can be overwhelming as well as a huge challenge.
There are many different emotions that need to be dealt with and experts say there are 5 stages that most people will go through in the grieving process.
People will deal with emotions such as shock, denial, anger and also disbelief, deeply profound sadness. Many will even experience feelings of guilt believing they could have done more or taken steps to prevent the loss by changing a circumstance.
Deep grieving for the loss of a loved one can also affect your health because those that suffer from profound grief will not eat properly, struggle to sleep and rest and even make sensible decisions while not thinking straight.
Counsellors and therapists will tell you that there is no right or wrong way in dealing with grief and people will deal with it in many different ways.
Coping with the pain is truly difficult especially for parents that lose a beloved child or families that lose a mother or father. When husbands and wives have been together for many years the one left behind can suffer deep feelings of loss and grief that can be extremely hard to cope with.
Grieving Your Loss Takes Time…
It takes time to overcome your grief and this time frame also varies from person to person depending on their personality their life experience, the way the loss occurred, and evens their faith.
In some cases, it can take weeks and months and in others even years to overcome their loss before they begin accepting and feeling better.
It is important to allow yourself time to go through the process of grieving properly and never deny yourself the chance to accept the loss in finality…
The Emotional Grieving Process…
a) Feelings of Shock and Disbelief. Even if you expect a person to pass on if they have been suffering from a serious illness it can still be equally difficult to accept what has happened. You may suffer emotional numbness, have trouble believing that the person has truly passed away and even deny the truth of it all.
It is common to expect the person to turn up at any moment and that everything is all a dream even though they are gone.
b) Profound Sadness. This is the most common symptom of grief experienced by everyone after a loss. Feelings of emptiness, despair at the loss, loneliness and crying. Many people experience feeling emotionally unstable and a lot of support from family and friends is vital at this time.
c) Feelings of Guilt. You may feel you could have done more to prevent this from happening and also regret or feel guilty about things you could have said and wanted to say. If someone has suffered a long illness then you may even feel some relief that their suffering is over causing even more feelings of guilt.
d) Anger and Resentment. Whatever the cause of your loss which in the suffering of a long illness for one example is no one s fault you may feel angry and resentful of the person that has gone.
It is common to feel angry at God, the Universe, angry at the doctors, angry at the illness, angry at everyone seeking someone or something to blame to make you feel better. Someone or illness took away the person you loved and they need to pay…
e) Fear and uncertainty. Worry and fear of the future without the person you have lost is common with feelings and wondering how you are going to cope through life without them.
Some will suffer extreme anxiety and even panic attacks with the added thought of your own mortality causing you even more fear. Facing life alone can cause a lot of insecurity and worry soon after the loss of your loved one.
Common Physical Symptoms of Grieving
Although grief is an emotional process your physical health can also suffer and during this time it is important to take care of your health properly.
The physical symptoms of grieving can manifest in health problems such as;
- Fatigue and unexplained tiredness
- Nausea and headaches
- A Compromised immune system
- Either Weight loss or gaining weight
- Aches in your joints and other body pains
- Lack of sleeping Insomnia
- Lack of appetite
- Stomach Aches caused by stress
Physical symptoms vary from person to person and it is not uncommon to suffer from stomach ulcers caused by extreme stress and emotional rollercoasters people suffer after the loss of a loved one.
5 Tips to Help You Cope With Grief!
The pain of grieving can often cause the sufferer to withdraw into themselves and cut them off from others. It is vital to seek support from everyone to process your loss even though you may be uncomfortable in doing so. Here is how you can get some help and support…
a) Lean on friends and family members.
This is the time to lean on the people that care about you the most even if you are the type of person that believes you are strong and self-sufficient.
Spend time with them and accept the support and assistance they want to give you.
b) Understand most people feel awkward when they want to comfort someone who is grieving a loss.
Grief is a confusing, and often frightening emotion for most people, especially if they have not experienced a similar loss to what you have themselves. For this reason, most people are unsure of how to comfort you and what words they can say to you. Some may even say the wrong things without meaning to.
c) Find comfort in your faith.
You may have your own religious tradition or denominations and you can use this to find solace and comfort. Praying, meditation and going to church are all ways to help you with the grieving process. Don’t be afraid to talk to your priest for comfort if you are questioning your faith.
d) Join support groups.
Deep grief for your loss can feel painful and lonely, even when you have family and friends around and it can help to join support groups to help you cope better. Look up support groups to help grieve at your funeral home hospices and churches.
e) Use Grief Counsellors and Therapists. For some, the grief of a loss can feel like it is too much to bear and in this case seek help from grief counsellors and therapists to help you cope with the grieving process.